In Praise of Parents

To Yazan

Our parents are our anchors in this world. Even as adults, we still need the reassurance of their presence; they are our connection to the past and to our childhood. They know and understand the most intimate details of our lives. When we are far away from home and feel nostalgic, it is not so much nostalgia for a particular place or time, but nostalgia for the comforting, reassuring embrace that our parents provided us with as children.

When I became a parent my understanding of my own parents changed instantaneously. I finally understood what is meant by unconditional love. Until then, I was the recipient of such love and basked in its warmth and security but also took it for granted. Understanding that unconditional love can be both nurturing and overbearing, all previous disagreements, or friction that we had over the years became trivial and unimportant. In the end, as much as we like to chart our own way in this world, we are the product of our parents' nurturing love with all its complexity and contradictions.

Becoming a parent also made me rethink my own mortality. My life became in many ways secondary to that of my children. I would not hesitate a second to sacrifice my own life to save that of my children. Yet at the same time, I don't want to leave this world before I am certain that they are set to fly on their own, to forge ahead and have a productive life.

Yazan, I only know you from your writings and the comments that we have exchanged. But if you are, as I believe you are, a reflection of your parents, then you ought to be very proud of them. I can also state unequivocally that if my children, as adults, exhibit the qualities that you have, I will be a proud parent, at peace with the knowledge that my children will be worthy and productive citizens of this world.

We all grieve with you at this tragic and untimely loss; but as you grieve, also remember and celebrate all they have given you.