Sunday, April 15, 2012

Draft Posts (I): Love and Longing

I suspect that many bloggers like me start writing a post and for one reason or another never finish it and yet let it linger as a draft never to see the light of day. I have now decided to post some of them.  Some are personal expressions that I felt I needed to transmit, while others, mostly regarding Syria, retrace some of my thoughts leading up and including the Syrian uprising. Some are left unfinished and some are recently finished (blue font). The posts will be grouped in themes.

Love and Longing:

11/20/2010: I turn onto the gravel...

I turn onto the gravel yard a short distance from the horse stables, turn off the engine and wait.  Lehman farm is not unlike many in rural upstate New York, modest and unpretentious.  The barns are old and disheveled in appearance, but functional; and strewn behind the main building is the requisite assortment of derelict farm equipment.

About ten minutes later, I recognize the silhouette of my daughter against the late afternoon light, walking slowy towards the car. She had just finished her riding lesson. Along the path, a kitten trots up to her and rubs against her leg demanding her attention.  Yasmina cannot resist; she stops to pet the kitten for several minutes oblivious to my presence. Tired after a long day's work, I wanted to get going.  Then it occured to me as I watched my first born gently pet the kitten, that next year she will be an adult and away at college. A jumble of melancholic thoughts cloud my mind; it seemed like yesterday that I was rocking my baby girl to sleep. The clouds lifted quickly, however, when Yasmina, with her disarming smile, came up to the car window to show me her new feline friend.

12/6/2011 Hubbi

It had only been two days since you left and yet seeing your smiling face in the email picture was like a warm tonic for my heart. I felt like a teenage boy, smitten by a mixture of longing and love. There was something in your smile I had not seen in a while, a sense of ease, of contentment. Perhaps it was that levantine sun and blue Mediterranean in the background that has reinvigorated you or just the warm comforting embrace of your familyIt is a funny thing about our respective places of birth, as much as they have been sources of grief, tragedy and displacement in our lifetime, it is where we feel most comfortable, most at ease. 

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